Relationships are So the Drama
by Dragonicia
Summary: Kim and Ron are dating...but wait, Drakken likes Ron and Ron likes him back? Kim has a secret crush on Shego? And Shego can't choose between her two crushes? Relationships aren't as cut and paste as most people seem to think.
1. The Weird Begins

**1. The Weird Begins**

Drakken wasn't happy with the current situation.

Not one bit.

First Shego decides to start up villainy again without telling him. It was just SO wonderful to plan an entire holiday party and end up having it ruined by your former sidekick/best friend turning on the doomsday machines that were decorated with holly and proclaiming everyone under her rule. The entire display that he had set up with Snowman Hank taking over the world had taken precious time and now that carefully-made diorama had been smashed to pieces. Then Team Possible busted in, further destroying his home. And then, after Shego had abandoned him to his ruined party, Kimberly had driven away his henchpeople and left him to the 'careful eye' of the buffoon while she chased down Shego.

Bah! Like he was going to do ANYTHING during this time of the year. Especially after all the threatening, kidnapping, and letter writing he had done to get Snowman Hank back on the air. There wasn't a force on Earth _or_ off it that would take him away from the television. It was just him, his cocoa moo, and his Cheesy Nip-Its.

Oh, and the sidekick…whatever his name was. Rob, maybe?

Ron, on the other hand, was pretty happy about how things had turned out. Sure, he was missing the eggnog making with the twins and his likely-to-be father-in-law, but now he was helping to bring joy to a grouchy Grinch type. Drakken hadn't really mellowed much since he'd finally proven his worth to the world and Ron felt that maybe he could try to spend some time with his former arch-rival, make him feel not so alone.

It wasn't really as fun as he'd hoped it would be. All the blue man was doing was sitting there, all grumpy-like and glaring at the television. He kept eating his delicious cheesy snacks (which Ron REALLY wanted some of) and grumbling under his breath about ungrateful former sidekicks. Ron would have just sat joking around with Rufus, trying to spread the happy mood, but he had left Rufus with the Possibles because they had thought that it was just Drakken getting too enthusiastic with his holiday display. Boy were THEY wrong!

Ron chuckled a little under his breath, drawing the former madman's attention. What was _he_ so jolly about? His holiday had been ruined! Everything was in shambles and he was all alone with this annoying boy trying to gain what little enjoyment he could from his favorite holiday show. But it seems that even that was being kept from him.

His eye twitched in anger as he drained the last of his cup's contents. Who were they to ruin his holiday? He hadn't planned on doing anything evil at all! It was all Shego's fault! What had she been thinking?

Drakken snorted and decided to go and refill his drink. A few minutes away from the buffoon might lift his spirits. He stood up from the dark red couch and stretched, grunting a little as he did.

"Hmm?" Ron glanced from the insanely big screen where the entire Snowman Hank crew was singing another of their holiday jingles and looked at the blue man. "Where're you going?"

"To refill my drink _if you don't mind_," Drakken grumbled irritably. "After all, we are in MY home, watching things on MY television, and sitting on MY couch. Why you're even here doesn't even make sense to me. What, do you think that I'm suddenly going to go and join Shego in her assault on the principles of Snowman Hank? I can't—"

Ron waved his arms in front of him to make Drakken halt in his rant. "Okay okay okay! Geez, I was just curious." The blonde, now worked up himself by the scientist's sour mood, crossed his arms and proceeded to pout. "You don't have to read me the riot act." Drakken had a curious thought—_kinda cute when pouting_—before he remembered to glare in response and stomp toward the kitchen to refill his drink.

Even half a minute later, Ron was still fuming at the poor attitude of his fellow Snowman Hank follower. What in the world had gotten into his bonnet? So what if Shego had trashed the place? A true Snowman Hank fan would be able to get through this and make the best of it. What did it matter that the pretty decorations had been destroyed?

Ron's eyes traveled the room, getting a look at the design that had been present…or, at least, what was left of it. The scene looked to have been a gathering of yuletide fun that had been assaulted by a meteor shower. Plastic reindeer parts were laying everywhere as were the various chunks of torn and scorched stuffed animals. He recognized many members of the cast of Snowman Hank's party and felt a twinge of sadness. The scene must have been pretty impressive before Shego and Kim had gone and fought their way through it all, plasma and misplaced fists destroying what was probably a joyous sight.

His gaze eventually traveled to the seat next to him, still feeling a bit sorry for the blue man, when he noticed the bag of delicious cheesy treats just sitting next to him. The box was sitting open with the silvery bag hanging open to expose the contents. It was still half-full, the tasty snacks practically begging Ron to liberate them from their prison.

Ron's eyes slid to the doorway where Drakken had disappeared to. It wasn't like it was anything _mean_ on Ron's part if he were to…partake of the snacks. And Ron was a guest in Drakken's home. He was entitled to a few snacks to make up for the treats he was missing at the Possible's home. Not to mention the complete lack of hosting that the blue man had done.

Yeah…Drakken _owed_ him those snacks!

Drakken had made his drink as slowly as he could. He was very upset with how things had turned out and a bit of time to himself was just what he had been hoping for. It was almost insufferable how his private celebration had been rained upon by the teenagers that had tormented him when he had been a villain. Was this some sort of karmic punishment? Would this keep happening until he embarked on some sort of soul-searching quest to restore his balance by doing right by the people he had done wrong?

Bah! Like he was going to do that. It'd just be a waste of time. If he REALLY wanted to change his cosmic balance or whatever that voodoo nonsense called it, he could probably just invent something to do it for him.

He made his way back to the main room where he had set up the television. Doing his best to ignore the sidekick, he sat down and put the drink on the table, making sure to put it on a coaster.

Odd. The buffoon was being quiet. Suspiciously quiet.

'_Probably did something stupid again. I'll just figure out what he broke later. Ignorance of his presence is bliss, after all._' He shrugged to himself and reached for another handful of his snacks—to come up empty-handed. He blinked. Surely the box had only been half-empty when he left? A quick glance into the box told him a different story. At the very bottom of the bag was one last perfect piece of his treats.

'_How did it…?_' he thought for a second before he realized: the buffoon! The idiot sidekick had helped himself to the snacks. Drakken looked at the blonde boy and glowered, his gaze almost leaking his sudden loathing of the sidekick down his face. Ron tried to play innocent but the truth was clearly written on his face. For while Ron had managed to swallow all of the snacks that he still had in his mouth when the blue man came back, he had forgotten to brush off the crumbs from around his mouth and on his black shirt.

"Who said that you could help yourself to my treats, boy?" Drakken snarled. Now not only had his privacy been invaded, but so had his pantry! What kind of gall did that boy have? And now he was even daring to look indignant about it! Drakken carefully removed the last piece and continued to glare at the young man.

Ron was completely offended by his host's attitude. He was a guest! And he'd been hungry! And there was cheese. Cheese! How could Ron possibly ignore something that tasty? Drakken was very much _not_ a House Owner's Person of the Month with that attitude.

"I'm you're guest! And you're a lousy host, by the way," Ron said, not noticing the extra fury that added to Drakken's expression. "Next time, get more snacks. One box isn't enough for the Ron-man." The teenager snatched the single piece out of Drakken's hand, taking the blue man aback, and examined it. "Oh well. Live and learn."

Drakken's eye was practically doing the tapdance now. How DARE he?! This was HIS home! He had no right to disrespect him like that. That one piece of the Cheesy Nip-Its that was left now stood for more than just a curving of the appetite. Oh no, now it was the symbol of supremacy in Drakken's home!

Drakken snatched it back, a petulant sneer on his face. "I could say the same thing to YOU, monkey-boy! Where in the world did you learn your manners, if you even _have_ any. Raised in a zoo?"

That remark had hit Ron hard. Partly because it questioned his mother's ability…and partly because he distinctly remembered being asked the same thing by Monkey Fist before he went and made himself into his own stone idol. "No! I was raised in Middleton. And you're one to talk!" Ron grabbed for the treat and managed to move faster than Drakken, successfully retrieving the snack.

"Oh yeah?" Drakken tried to get the piece back but found his movements too slow to manage to get a hold of it.

"Yeah!" Ron and Drakken glared at each other for a minute, one trying to make the other back down. When they realized that the other was unwilling to give in, there was only one thing that they each thought to do.

Ron jumped up and ran for it while Drakken tried to tackle the squirming blonde.

Ron was certain that he could outrun the blue man. He was more youthful, energetic, and quick. It should've been a guaranteed getaway. What Ron _hadn't_ counted on was the older man, having failed to grab him, snagging his pants. And since he was wearing his halfiversary gift of the titanium belt, the pants stayed around his waist and tripped him up.

"Oomph!" Ron fell to the ground, Drakken scrabbling to snatch the prize from his grasp. The force of the fall had caused the golden treat to tumble out of his hand and bounce across the floor. The two of them looked at it for a second, looked at each other for another second, then started to wrestle to see who could make it to the prize first.

"That's MY snack!" Drakken yelled. He grabbed the arm of the younger man and tossed him to the side, getting to his feet and rushing forward. Ron landed hard, but wasn't done fighting yet. He whipped his legs around and caught Drakken's feet. The blue man toppled over while screaming and hit his face on the ground. That nasty little bit of kung-fu was not what the doctor had expected.

"Not if I get there first." Ron jumped over the inert form of the doctor keeping his eyes on the goal. Unfortunately for Ron, that gave Drakken the opportunity to return the trip that Ron had so kindly given Drakken before. Ron crashed to the ground while Drakken let a victorious whoop. Ron, not one to like losing, grabbed onto Drakken's pants and sent him to the ground as well.

They struggled with each other like that for several minutes, each taking a turn to trip the other. By the end of it they were both within arm's reach of the snack and guaranteed sore knees for at least a week. At this point, they had decided to just start slapping each other.

"Mineminemineminemine!" they chanted. They were both trying to get in a hit on the other that would distract them enough to provide time to snag the treat. Drakken eventually succeeded, feinting a slap to the cheek and got in a surprise smack to the chin. Ron recoiled in shock; that had actually hurt!

Drakken crawled forward while Ron tried to get his balance back, seizing the golden square with unbridled glee. He's won! He'd conquered that blasted sidekick and gotten the prize! The cheesy square was held up into the air by Drakken, a quick celebration of the fact that he'd won before he claimed total victory by eating the snack.

An opening which Ron took full advantage of.

Ron had spent the scant few seconds positioning himself in a way that he could knock the snack out of Drakken's outstretched hand. As the blue man took the predicted time to gloat his victory, Ron did a forward flip that both got him back on his feet and knocked the Cheesy Nip-It out of Drakken's grasp.

"GAH!" Drakken gripped his hand and winced. The buffoon wasn't supposed to fight back when he did the victory pose. It was against the rules! He glared at the sidekick and noticed that the idiot's sight was focused on something above him. Drakken looked up quickly and saw the piece flying straight up. Ron stood, his eyes never leaving the golden square.

They both had a plan of action to settle the issue once and for all, neither paying any attention to the other as the treat fell back toward the ground between them.

They both dove forward at the snack, mouths wide open and aimed for it. They were both determined to beat the other and win this game and they both threw themselves forward in its projected trajectory. Their aims were both true…

…which had them both catch it between their mouths, firmly shoving their lips together.

Liplocked, the both could only think one thing: 'that idiot is after my yummy!'.

They both desperately wanted the snack, but were unwilling to give even a little to get into a better position. So the fight degraded to trying to wrestle the piece between their mouths with their tongues. Drakken tried to flip it onto his tongue to drag it from the space between his teeth into his mouth, but found it blocked by his foe's tongue. They wrestled each other for control of the space and thus maneuvering room for the piece but they discovered they were equal matches.

Ron shifted his head over to create a bit less space in hopes of cutting off any hope for Drakken recovering it, but Drakken forced his tongue inside Ron's mouth to prevent him from closing the space completely. Ron beat at Drakken's tongue for a few seconds before realizing that he could try to slip the cheesy cracker into his mouth by moving his upper and lower jaws around. Drakken, realizing what Ron was doing, did the opposite motion.

Neither of them realized until it was too late that, due to their saliva, the solidity of the cracker had weakened to the point that the combined saw-like action of their teeth would completely compromise its structural integrity. The prize that they had both sought for the last 10 minutes snapped in half, one half falling into their respective mouths. The shock of the snack suddenly disintegrating in their mouths like that made them both step back in surprise.

"Blast!" Drakken howled, spitting out small chunks of the treat that he'd been coveting just a few minutes ago. "It broke!" His attention was captured by the air suddenly being filled with the sound of muffled crunching. He narrowed his eyes in anger and gave the sidekick and unforgiving glare. "This is all YOUR fault, buffoon!"

Ron, who was quite content with the outcome, just shrugged. He ignored Drakken's obvious fury and said, "Hey, when two people are arguing like this, it's usually best to just split the child in half! …or something like that." The sound of his swallowing echoed through the lair and he belched. "Mmmm…cheesy!"

"Nnnrgh…it was **MY** cheesy snack! Why did you have to take it from me?" Drakken pouted. He wasn't as angry now as he was put off; it was his home, his snacks, and he wasn't evil…so WHY was he still getting pushed around by this teenager?

"Because YOU were being a bad host! You didn't even offer me one piece. Not a single one! I felt that it was time to take matters into my…own…mouth?" Ron's face started to contort a little as a nasty little niggling thought hit his brain. Why oh WHY can't he ever think of these things beforehand?!


	2. Issues Not Considered

**2. Issues Not Considered  
**

"Eh? What was that? I'm pretty sure the expression is 'into my own hands'." Drakken didn't seem to catch on. Ron decided to enlighten him.

"Dude, we JUST MADE OUT!!" the blonde yelled in near-despair, the message's impact made double upon Drakken by it echoing through the destroyed lair. "It's so wrong…SO SICK AND WRONG! This may qualify for wrong-sick, Drakken!"

"'Made out'? Does your stupidity have ANY limits?" Drakken sneered. Surely the sidekick had partaken of some spiked eggnog or something. What they had been doing was mere fighting! Sure, they had struggled close to each other…locked hands…and mouths…and wrestled…tongues…?

…crap.

"We pretend that this never happened, right? RIGHT?!" Ron was practically hyperventilating at this point, his mind racing with thoughts of losing Kim, receiving 16 kinds of kung-fu to the face, and being shot into space by a very irate Mr. Dr. Possible.

"Oh…kay…?" Drakken uttered cautiously. This was new. The buffoon was completely freaking out in the not-so-cute way. For some reason this little incident of complete random bothered the monkey boy a lot more than most of the situations he'd experienced before. How could this bother him worse than an encounter with an enraged polar bear?

"This is SO WRONG!" Ron continued to howl. He turned to the box of snacks which seemed to him to be mocking his plight. "How, snacks? How could you betray me like this?!"

'_Talk about melodrama_' Drakken thought, watching the antics of the second member of Team Possible. What was with the boy? It wasn't like that was anything intentional. They were just fighting. So why would—

Then it came to him. There was one other time that he had witnessed someone that usually took everything in stride freak out like that about something as simple as a little kiss. Mountains out of molehills was clearly the motto of the men that Drakken kept meeting.

Ron was trying to erase the moment from his mind—just thinking of the tweebs scanning his brain and seeing it sent goosebumps through him—when he was distracted by a low hum of some sort. He scanned the area, unsure of what it was. It grew in intensity and had a sort of rhythm to it. It took a few more seconds for Ron to realize that it was someone laughing softly.

"You…" Drakken said before his chuckle turned into a laugh, sounding a bit cruel to Ron's ears.

"I what? I'm in big trouble?" Ron assumed that Drakken had jumped to the same idea that he had.

"It's quite obvious that you aren't the LEAST bit comfortable with your sexuality," Drakken said innocently. Though even Ron could tell by looking at the blue man that it was all an act. His eyes were teasing Ron, mocking his sudden discomfort with everything.

"What do you mean?" the blonde asked suspiciously. That comment obviously had something behind it; even Ron could tell that much. But what it was…

"Phhh!" Drakken waved his hand between the two of them. "We have an innocent fight—not kissing in my book at all—and you freak out. Really, one must wonder if you have ANY grasp of who you are."

This was giving Ron the prickly uncomfortable feeling. 'Bad topic' was written all over it. It was touchy, it was private, it was none of Drakken's business! But Ron couldn't just _let_ the blue man win, could he? It was a weird random topic to be sure…but Ron also knew that Drakken was clueless. Of course he knew who he was! Who else would he be otherwise?

"Well, you're wrong! The Ronster TOTALLY knows what he wants." Ron crossed his arms like a petulant child (though he thought it was more serious-looking) and dared Drakken to challenge him.

Which he did with glee.

"_Oh_, I see," Drakken said, fighting down the urge to giggle at Ron's obvious denial, "so you've thought about kissing a boy?"

"_WHAT?!_" Ron flipped his lid, completely forgetting what he'd said five seconds ago. "No! Nuh-uh! Of course not! That's just—"

"Wrong?" Drakken's delighted sneer alerted Ron that he'd fallen for some sort of trap. "Now now buffoon, if you've _really_ thought of what you want, then shouldn't you have thought of that possibility? Never even the least bit curious about some sort of cute jock that would never return the thought?"

Crap. Ron fell into that one.

"Well…no…I mean, it's just not right! What kind of guy would even _consider_ that?!"

Drakken thumbed himself in the chest. "I certainly have thought and done just that. And I'm a guy, aren't I?"

"But…you and DNAmy! You can't _really_ like…like guys, right?" Ron was a bit scared at the idea, then angry. Angry was better than the idea. How could someone do that to the poor geneticist, leading her on when actually liking guys? Or maybe Drakken was just putting him on…yeah, that had to be it!

"Oh please." Drakken waved the panicked question away. "I like girls _and_ guys. I'm open to pretty much anything…well, except for that nonsense dealing with the use of…erm…unmentionable things." Drakken shrugged a little and gave the blonde a smug smile. "I haven't been conventional in my live ONCE. Why should I start with my sexuality? It's one of the things that defines me and I'm not about to let myself be compartmentalized. Besides," Drakken walked up to the very much confused Ron and gave him a pat on the head, "there are _far_ too many interesting people and experiences that I could miss out on that way."

"So it's more about experimenting?" Ron asked a bit hotly. Using people for experiments…leave it to a mad scientist to not limit it to toxic exposure.

"That's part of it. It's also about learning about yourself. Surely no one would hold you discovering yourself against you?" Drakken smirked. "Wouldn't you want to make sure that you and Kimberly are right for each other? Do you really want to waste her time if it turns out you don't like her like that?"

Ron couldn't believe it. Drakken was practically daring him to try other guys and making it seem like it would be a disservice to everyone if he didn't. And that he might actually hurt KP if he didn't! That was _low_. But, unfortunately, there was a point to it.

Wait.

_Nuh-uh!_

It was like Drakken was holding a sign that had clearly printed on it 'Come to the dark side'. There was no way, absolutely _no way_ that Ron would ever even _consider_—

"Aww, what's the matter? Not so sure now?" Drakken had been paying close attention to Ron's reactions and they were taking the same cycles that James' had all those years ago. His resolve was breaking a little at a time. It just needed a little _push_. So Drakken leaned so that he was face-to-face with the blonde, nearly nose-to-nose, to make sure that what he was going to say would get through and make the boy question himself. "All it takes is one little kiss. Just need to find someone you like and lay one on them."

Of course, Drakken knew that it would be a bit more than that. It was a serious issue that required thought and lots of it. But to pass up on teasing the buffoon on something like this? Much too good to do.

Drakken truly enjoyed these sorts of games. He wasn't really trying to be malicious nor did he care much about one's orientation…mostly. There were two guys that he liked that he'd picked on (one right now) to try and draw them out of what he'd hoped were shells. James, unfortunately, took it _very_ badly and added to the reasons why Drew left college when he did. Even a geek can be a powerful force when panicking in a dorm room with their roommate being the person pushing them.

Ron, on the other hand, hadn't freaked out yet. It was nice in that Drakken could keep teasing him, watching him blush and stutter at the poking and prodding of his conceptions of the world. It was highly unlikely that the boy would actually do anything. Very unlikely.

Which was why the blue man was so shocked when Ron did just as Drakken had suggested and leaned forward, letting their lips meet.

It wasn't a long kiss; more of a peck really. Ron backed off as fast as he'd done it. He'd mostly just wanted to shut Drakken up and prove him wrong and that…well, it accomplished both at the same time, didn't it? It wasn't like it _mattered_. It was just to quiet the older man down.

It took a few seconds for Drakken's brain to reboot after it and came to the same conclusion that Ron's had without the questioning.

"I meant someone you like, you buffoon!" Drakken barked, his face colored a faint crimson on top of his blue. "It doesn't count if it's just to _shut someone up_." His response was a bit angrier than he meant, but the boy had just kissed him _on purpose_ for NO reason other than to shut him up. Talk about messing with a poor man's hopes…!

"Well, what if I did?!" Ron countered before he could stop himself. The room fell silent and Ron wished that his mouth was just a LITTLE slower than his head. He wasn't even sure if he meant that. It was…taboo and complicated and _SO_ wrong!

He looked down at his shoes, certain that he was about to get a berating and perhaps a well-deserved beating from Drakken. After all, he _was_ the 'buffoonish sidekick' and to just be kissed like that had to be shocking not to mention rude…

But…

Ron looked at the flabbergasted scientist and felt a bit better than he had before. The shock written on his face served him right for teasing Ron like that! In fact, it looked like Drakken might just topple over from a breath blown in his direction. He REALLY hadn't expected that, it seemed. And the fact that he hadn't moved an inch since Ron had withdrawn himself turned the smug indignation into a cold throb of worry.

"Hey, uh…dude? Drakken? You okay?" Ron sidled the one step distance over to him and waved his hand in front of the older man's eyes. "Need some emergency nacos?" Drakken's eyes were moving back and forth like a pendulum hyped up on sugar—too fast to see anything. "You aren't having a stroke on me, are you? 'cause let me tell you right now, KP's the one that knows the CPR stuff."

That seemed to reach Drakken and his eyes blinked rapidly for several seconds before focusing again. He was shivering a little and his breathing was a bit labored. It reminded Ron of when he had run in a charity marathon in October.

Drakken was busy trying to catch his breath. The buffoon _liked_ him? He was sure he'd heard wrong. There was no way that the sidekick could be serious. It was a niggling little thought, a tiny hope that he'd never fed because…well…arch-foe and sidekick don't seem to go well together, not to mention the generation gap. But now the sidekick had actually brought it up.

Now how to ask without sounding foolish about it?

"So…er…Rob—"

"Ron," the blonde automatically corrected.

"Whatever!" Drakken snapped before remembering what he was about to jump into and once again resuming a bit more submissive tone. "You…you actually…" Ron could hear the incredulity and an attempt to make it seem off-handed in the question. But he also sensed an underlying seriousness, nervousness, and a bit of fear.

He knew what Drakken was going to ask. Who wouldn't? It was written all over the man's face, the hope that maybe Ron might actually like him.

Ron could recognize the grave implications that could be made from this. He was an avid watcher of the boob tube, after all. Stories with this sort of serious scenario were parodied in dramatic fashions on nearly all the stations that he'd ever seen (excluding the 'Watching Paint Dry Channel—where a figure of speech comes to life!') and he's seen a lot of them. He was positioned at the edge of a chasm and he could either turn back to safe ground…or jump for the thrill and hope the fall wouldn't kill him. All of the scenarios on the television either got REALLY complicated (which upped the entertainment value) or solved themselves in a neat little package with a bow and an illegitimate child.

This, however, wasn't anything like that.

This was a real-live person asking him if he really liked them like that. And it wasn't just any old person. It was the mad scientist ex-arch-foe of his girlfriend. He was old, true, but he wasn't just _any_ old person.

The blonde turned around, trying to think at the same time as wording his thoughts. "I…well…" Ron could just _feel_ the intense gaze of the other man. It was drilling straight into his head, looking for what he wanted to know. Fighting down the urge to scream 'Stop looking in my head!', he mumbled his stream of thought. "I like you…as a person! Just a person. Or maybe not. Maybe more? Aww, I don't know!"

"Well THINK _harder_," Drakken urged. He was actually getting his hopes up for this. There was obviously _something_ the buf—boy had on his mind, and if he could just grasp it…

"I…uh…I…" Ron needed a place to think. Someplace quiet, secure, where Drakken couldn't follow and stare at him, demanding answers. A sudden thought hit him. "Dude, where's your bathroom?"

Drakken visibly deflated. "Down the hall, second door on the left. Remember to jiggle the handle to open it," he said half-heartedly.

Ron couldn't get his legs moving fast enough.

* * *

Note: I would appreciate reviews that can help me to decide where it is that I am lacking. I cannot improve my skills if all I get for a review is 'Ron...eew' and the like. Thank you for reading it.


	3. Diving in HeadFirst

**3. Diving in Head-First  
**

Drakken watched as the sidekick made a hasty retreat, already feeling the weight of losing yet _another_ chance with someone he had feelings for. It was another painful pinch in his life of something that he wanted that he wouldn't get. Right when he was starting to get hope.

He realized that he was just standing stupidly in the middle of the room staring at where the young man had left to refresh himself. Probably would've looked like an idiot to anyone that walked through. Grumbling, he went over to the couch and sighed as he sat, his mind wandering back to the current situation.

It wasn't that he wasn't entirely used to it. Far from it, really. James, Amy, Elena, Sheila…they had all broken his heart, directly or no, and he had taken some more in stride than others. James was particularly painful. He was Dra—no, Drew's first real love. Drew had loved that man with all he had. It STILL stung, every time he even looked at a picture or heard about James.

"Nnnngh…" He groaned softly, the memories flooding back in a painful wave. It had been foolish of him, really. A young man hopelessly smitten, reaching for the golden apple of his eye. Drakken leaned forward on the couch, setting his elbows on his knees and holding his head to try and keep some of the emotions at bay. A tiny tear came loose, sliding silently down his cheek and falling noiselessly as he shook at the pain. Oh so foolish…

* * *

Drew shifted nervously and adjusted his glasses as he took a quick glance at his roommate. James was bent over his work desk in concentration, a set of goggles over his face as he attempted to weld a few components to the circuit board he was working on. He was so deep in concentration that the upcoming rocket flight could have launched right next to him and he wouldn't have noticed save for the dust blocking his sight.

The young bespectacled man sighed in awe at the precision and ease with which his roommate did his work. Goodness, he was amazing. A lot of people would see a slightly chubby nerd that was disconcertingly pale and working on another piece of dork tech, but Drew saw past that (mostly because he was so much like James) to the talented, solid, and strong man hiding under the façade.

Why was he the only one to see it?

He let his eyes watch James' adept hands work on the equipment. They were so fluid in their movements…how could James manage to do that? How could he get his fingers in-between the little pieces and weld them to the board?

Drew looked down at his own hands in disgust. He'd gotten his father's hands. Big clunky things that were better suited for hard manual labor than delicate laboratory work. He would have been better off with hooves! What he would give to have hands even HALF the size of his current meat mittens…maybe someday he could fix them. For now, though, he could at least moon over his crush's fine, fine hands.

A few sparks later and James let out a whoop of success.

"I've done it!" He turned around in his chair at a whiplash speed and suddenly stopped, facing Drew with his eyewear-deformed eyes.

"WAAAGH!" Drew had been so intent on watching James and imagining just what James could do with his hands that the sudden movement shocked him and he recoiled all the way off his chair, crashing backwards onto the floor. A tiny pinch of shame, guilt, and embarrassment hit him as he realized how silly that must have looked to James and wondering if his older roommate had noticed the dreamy look in his eye.

"Woah! Hey, Drew, you okay?" James asked as he jumped out of his chair fast enough to stumble. He caught himself with Drew's chair and, holding himself up, he bent down to give Drew a hand up. "Need a hand?"

The younger student had a profuse blush spread across his face, what some would consider a show of embarrassment. Drew, however, knew that he was blushing because he was so abashed around James and seeing his (comparatively) big, strong arm lowered to help pick him up…

The pale man reached up and grabbed his roommate's arm, feeling a slight spark as they came into contact. His breath was taken away as James struggled to help him up. The older one nearly fell over as Drew got to his feet from the counterforce needed but managed to balance.

"Bit of a static shock. Probably the dry winter air," James said. "Did you feel that?"

"Yeah…yeah I felt it," Drew replied airily. It was…amazing. Electrifying, in more ways than one.

"Should probably ask that they turn the heating down." James knocked his knuckles on the large heating unit attached to their wall between their desks. The heater responded by making a loud hissing noise before it settled down to a low whistle. James made a small contemplative noise, eyeing the white chipped mass of metal coils before he shook his head and waved his hand. "Nevermind about that. Let me tell you about what I was working on!" He put on a wide smile as he picked up the small doohickey that he had been tinkering with and held it out for Drew to see. "I guess you must be REALLY curious, huh? Well, I was eating lunch in the cafeteria and I happened to catch a look underneath the pan holders…"

Drew stopped listening, focused on the wildly fluctuating thoughts flying through his head. Two sides of an argument that he had with himself time and time again were raging, this time even louder than usual.

'_Surely that was a sign! The spark between them was undeniable. Even James felt it! He had to act! We should be together, no ifs ands or buts. At least _one_ date._'

'_**That wasn't a sign. It was just static like James had said. Stop getting your hopes up! He isn't interested in us.**_'

'_How would you know? We've never asked. He might be interested._'

'_**If James is even the least bit interested in men, then we're straight. Really, the man is cut straight from a family sitcom. He is just looking for the right WOMAN to marry. And why would he want an underclassman ne'er-do-well like us? If he wanted a guy, he could do much, much better.**_'

'_You're just afraid of rejection. You're afraid that he WILL say no. Rather miss the boat than sink in it. You're a coward._'

'_**Better to live as a coward than drown at sea. You're a self-destructive egotist and you'll lead us to heartbreak.**_'

'_Stuck up arrogant know-it-all!_'

'_**Emotional impulsive blowhard!**_'

"SHUT UP!" Drew yelled, scrabbling at his head and messing up his gelled mane.

"Oh…I'm sorry." James frowned and lowered his arms which were raised up toward the ceiling. "I thought…hrm…" He scratched his head and put on an apologetic smile. "I guess I was getting a bit carried away." Drew blinked in confusion as his roommate laughed. "Next time if I get excited like that, just tap me on the shoulder. It's okay, I won't get offended. But wowwee, it would be nice if you would do that instead of yelling."

James laughed again and gave a perplexed Drew a slap on the back before setting his device down to give a once-over. The underclassman blinked and turned away, a light blush once again creeping onto his face.

What was _wrong_ with him? Why did he react like that to his own thoughts? Why was he so…so…

'_Coward_'

Drew closed his eyes and clenched his fists to drown out the voice in his head.

'_You always want things that you never have the courage to try and grasp. You always, ALWAYS let the things you want go without even trying to get them. The gorgeous Russian exchange student who _obviously_ had an interest in the resident science buff? You know you liked her. And you ignored her and yourself. Let her fall into the clutches of the football jerk with the outer appearance and superficial charm of an angel but the heart and intentions of a beast. He used her like all the other girls he'd wanted and tossed her aside like garbage._'

Drew began to shake almost unnoticeably. "Shut up," he muttered to himself.

'_That scholarship that could have gotten you through undergrad AND made your name known to those that matter? You quit with the filled application in hand. You KNOW you could have won yet you chose to not even enter. After all, you can't lose something if you don't enter it, now can you?_'

His fist clenched harder, the nails now painfully digging into his flesh.

'_You always play it safe so that you don't even face the risk of losing a risky gamble. You've never tried to be the best you can because you're afraid that your best isn't good enough. You DO remember the definition of a coward, don't you Drewbie?' _the voice taunted.'_After all, it was your only defense against the bullies, the ones that you considered the cowards._'

He squinted harder, hard enough to make colors flash in front of his eyes.

'_You interpreted it as them fearing your genius and shunning you for it. But that's not really what it means. We both know._'

Drew shook his head slowly, back and forth, back and forth…

''_one who shows disgraceful fear or timidity'. My, doesn't that sound familiar?_'

He shook his head harder, erratically in response. The voice laughed at him as his hair bounced stickily on his head before it took on a cruel tone and shouted:

'_Admit it!_

_You_

_are_

_a_

_COWARD!_'

With sudden and intense clarity, Drew realized that this wasn't one of his sides yelling at him. No optimism or pessimism, no opposites arguing the same point over and over as they had many times before. This was _him_. _He_ was saying this, pointing out his failures. He was calling himself a coward for never trying or taking a risk.

Drew unclenched his fists and looked up at James. He was still completely focused, not having noticed a single thing besides the machine in front of him. The younger man fixed his hair back into place, wiping the extra goo that came off in his hands onto his pants before he coughed and cleared his throat. "Uhhh...James?"

He'd be damned if he proved himself right.

James looked up from his contraption, stunned from having been fully concentrated on checking on his invention. "Huh? What? Drew? What is it?"

Drew took a deep breath in, almost like taking in some air before diving into a pool and asked "Do you want to...maybe..." his voice faltered slightly as he looked down from nervousness before a glance back at James gave him enough courage to hastily finish "…go out to dinner? With me, maybe?"

James blinked a couple of times and took a quick look at the clock before smacking himself in the head. "Good golly! I didn't realize how late it was." He patted his stomach and sighed. "Didn't realize the tank was running on empty. I get like that with a big project…forget to eat." He went over to his small closet and pulled out a heavy winter jacket, slipping it on and answering. "Sure! Great idea. Let's take a break from studying and have some chummy guy-to-guy talk, eh?"

* * *

That had been one of the most amazing things that he had thought would ever happen to him. James accepting to go to dinner with him as a date. Or, at least, in his own head that was how it was. They had a few other going-outs within the next few weeks, each one something that the hopeful young man had counted as dates.

It had been Drew's dream-come-true. With each outing, and the increasing closeness, he felt something…indescribable. It made him feel whole, to know that someone else cared enough to eat with him and talk about dreams and fears and the future. He had really believed that they would be together through it all.

Then…

'_Coward_'

Drakken's eyes snapped open. What was he doing, sitting here pitying himself over a failed attempted relationship? That was the past. Over and done with. He actually had a chance now.

Maybe.

Maybe a chance. So what? It was better than he'd had in _years_. He couldn't risk sitting here, wallowing in his own miseries from the past when he had a small sliver of hope of actually being happy and not so alone as he'd been for a lifetime.

'_Sheila doesn't count?_'

He paused. Turned that idea over in his head a bit. Then promptly dumped it into the garbage.

No, she doesn't count. In order to count, he actually had to have a chance. But she…she was completely taken with that redheaded cheerleader. Depressing, really. She could have whatever she wanted except for the one thing she truly couldn't have. Perhaps a bit poetic, too.

Wait. What was he doing, musing about his best fri—er, _ex_-best friend(his diorama…!)'s love life? He had to sweep the boy off his feet if he wanted a chance!

…now how in the world would he do that?


	4. Diving in HeadFirst, part II

**4. Diving in Head-First, part II  
**

It had to be a trick. It just _had_ to be!

There was no way Drakken would lie about something like his, would he?

Could he even set up a trap this fast?!

Ron had found the door…but the darn thing wouldn't open!

"Aw, come on!" Ron had tried pulling at the handle for a solid minute, begging the handle to please let him in before his mouth ran off again, even sitting on the handle at one point. But nothing. Nada. Zip. No Nacos for him. He finally stopped trying to pry it odd with his nails. And began to plead again.

"Dude, give me a break here! I'm totally in a jam…oh man. If you don't let me in, I'm probably gonna do something that I'll regret. I mean...KP or Drakken? I hafta choose and I don't think I can." He flicked a glance at the brass handle. "Yeah, I know. It should be an easy choice. KP is gorgeous, nice, perfect in every way _and_ she's my best friend…but you know…? We don't really have that much in common…"

His thoughts started to organize themselves. Somehow, talking to someone (even as quiet as the handle) really helped him to figure out exactly why he was just having so much trouble with simply knowing in his soul that KP was his and he was hers. It should have been easy.

"So Drakken and I have things in common. So what? What, does that meant that I'm totally gonna drop KP for him?!" Ron's slight anger with himself began to come out. Perfection was his and he was going for the booby prize and dang it he didn't know why! "So what if we enjoy the same things? So what if he is a decent-ish guy that is nice when he isn't doing something evil? He just isn't KP. He's a guy!"

He glared at the handle. "I'm asking for advice here. Hellooooo~?" Ron knocked on the handle in hopes of getting SOMETHING out of it, maybe even just a slight twitch or strange noise that he could interpret. He paused for a second and waited. Then, suddenly, he grabbed it with both hands and started shaking it. "DARN IT WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME?!"

The handle clicked in response.

"…wha?" He took a step back and watched the handle. It sat there, doing nothing. Ron nervously glanced around the hallway, thinking that this was some sort of prank. He considered for a second going and asking Drakken about it. Luckily, it only took a second for him to remember exactly why he was in Drakken's Middleton lair hallway trying to pry the bathroom door open.

Ron tentatively reached for the handle, twitching anxiously and quickly withdrawing his hand when he was sure he'd seen the handle move. Gulping and taking a reassuring breath in, he closed his eyes and shakily grabbed hold of the handle.

"Okay…you can do this…just have to push it down…" Ron was fairly certain it wasn't a death trap he just triggered. Pretty sure. But then again, Drakken WAS pretty absent-minded…

The blonde managed to ignore the smile that briefly flickered across his face.

He pushed down the handle…

…and the door opened.

"Huh?" Ron opened one eye, surprised at the lack of resistance and saw the door was open a crack. "But why did it—" He paused and smacked himself in the head. It soon dissolved into a sheepish grin. "Oh right! Jiggle the handle. I knew that."

Ron walked into the bathroom and winced. "Wow. This is the second weirdest-looking bathroom I have ever been in."

The bathroom in question looked like it had been carved straight from the rock, the walls having a rough chiseled look to them that made them look sharp and unfriendly. In complete contrast were very out-of-place ordinary bathroom pieces. There was a black marble shower, big enough for someone to lay in easily with jets lining the bottom that looked like it was made for someone used to the life of luxury, a matching toilet with a small mismatched potpourri bowl filled with small purple and red flowers that had long ago lost its scent, and a sink with a large mirror that didn't match the other two pieces being made of a strange type of streaked rock instead of the black.

Around the room there were other regular bathroom things, like a small garbage with a few tissues and a wicker hamper in the corner that, when Ron lifted the lid, was nearly full to bursting with blue labcoats and harlequin-style jumpsuits.

"Just how many of those outfits do they have?" Ron wondered to himself.

Ron put the lid down on the toilet, not wanting to sit on the tub lip and maybe fall in (he'd done it before and darn it had hurt!), and started debating with himself.

"Okay…so I probably like Drakken. He's a good guy. Well," he corrected himself, "he's a good guy _now_. He was a bad guy before. He did evil things, tried to take over the world, TOTALLY ruined Bueno Nacho, too! Why did he have to do that to Bueno Nacho? It wasn't like it had done anything to him. Huh." A thought struck Ron. "I could always ask. Now's the perfect time to ask!"

He jumped up from where he was sitting intent on asking the blue man exactly why he decided to target Ron's favorite eating establishment. Ron took a total of three steps toward the door before he finally remembered why he was hiding in the bathroom in the first place.

"Oh. Right. Awkweird feelings. Still need to figure stuff out." He grumbled as he picked up the discussion again, continuing on his previous thoughts.

"Okay brain." He tapped the side of his head, hoping that his brain would start paying more attention. Couldn't hurt to ask. "Could you _please_ work with me on this? I'm highly confused about my feelings and you aren't helping me in the least."

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Cookies.

Cookies everywhere.

Cookies covering the table, the chairs, the footrest, the counters…they would probably have been on the floor if it wouldn't have been so unsanitary there were so many crammed on the surface of everything.

And Matilda Lipsky wouldn't have had it any other way.

After all, she _was_ the head of the Society of Lowerton's Older Women. The acronym was regrettable considering how the members of the organization were anything but.

They ran several different sub-groups that helped around in the community. Glee Club, the Board Group (which deals with what most people think the group is about), the Stargazers (a club for people that like to gather and discuss celebrities like MC Honey), the Roadies (a group of women that organizes and goes on long-distance trips), and the list went on and on. They all were involved in the community that, while not rich like Upperton or average like Middleton, was full of tightly-knit family units.

Her son—dear Drewbie—had wanted her to leave and move somewhere supposedly better for several years. But the roots she had grown in the community kept her in the area and wouldn't let her leave. She couldn't even bear to leave the home that she had raised her son in after her husband and his father passed away from a splinter; it had gotten into his blood stream and brought nasty little bugs with it while it tore at his heart.

Matilda always made sure Drewbie knew about the importance of safety.

She was currently in charge of baking enough cookies for the Supporters of Organized Sport Associations to sell at the next game of the Lowerton Lemmings so that there could be money put towards getting the children new equipment. The bats and gloves they had were so worn down and there wasn't a single ball that didn't have threads coming loose. Matilda had assumed that twenty dozen or so cookies would do the job and she didn't want to accidentally squish any by setting them on top of each other.

"That makes 19!" she hummed happily, going into the living room of her one-story house to set the next dozen cookies on wax paper that she had set up on her recently cleared off television. It was a nice sturdy model from the 80s that had been state-of-the-art then with color and being able to use a remote control to control it without having to get up out of the chair to turn the knobs or push the buttons. Of course, she never trusted those newfangled devices and always had Drewbie switch the stations for her.

Halfway through setting down her second-to-last batch, she was interrupted by the shrill ring of her telephone.

'_**BRRRRRR-ING**_!'

"Oh drattles." Matilda looked around for somewhere to set the tray and spatula and, finding herself without one, begrudgingly set the cookware on the ground.

'_**BRRRRRR-ING**_!'

She shuffled over to the phone as fast as her little legs could carry her, trying her best not to knock into any furniture while going into the dining room for the wall phone.

'_**BRRRRR-**__CLICK_'

"Hello?"

Drakken flinched on his end. It was never easy to talk with his mother, especially about something so...personal and sensitive. It certainly didn't help that this was the type of information that most people wouldn't dare _dream_ of talking with their parents about, let alone actually do it. But the poor man was desperate for any sort of advice that could help him snag the boy's heart and where else could he go for that?

"Erm…hello Mother."

"_DREWBIE!!!"_

The phone quickly found itself three feet away from Drakken's ear as Mama Lipsky started to say a million things at once.

"Drewbiehowhaveyoubeen?! Whereareyou? Ihaven'ttalkedtoyouinMONTHS! Youhadbetterbebeingagoodboy! Whydidyounevercall? Howisthatlovelyladydoing? Whenwillyousettledownwithher—"

It was like she was trying to make up for the time she'd missed out on with the nagging by doing it at hyper speed!

"Mother, I—"

"—reallyshouldgetmarriedsoon—"

"We aren't—"

"—Grace'sgranddaughterAmeliaisfree—"

"She's also a tee—"

"—notgoingtoliveforever—"

"I KNOW tha—"

"—gooutmo—"

"**I FOUND SOMEONE**!"

Silence.

Drakken was just trying to get his mother to calm down. He didn't want to scare her or anything. All he wanted was some advice for dealing with someone you were interested in. From the sound of it, though, she'd had some sort of speech-halting attack.

"…Mother…?" he tentatively asked. He was _really_ hoping that he hadn't—

"_**OH MY DEAR BABY BOOOOOOY!!"**_

Her son once again found himself holding the phone several feet away from his ear.

"OhI'vegottomakethearrangements! You'llgetmarriedsoonIjustknowit! OhandIhavetotellMargeand—"

"MOTHER!"

"—and-oh, yes Drewbie?" She giggled like a schoolgirl, making Drakken groan quietly to himself in his suffering before he continued.

"The problem is that he isn't—"

"He?" Matilda queried with a slightly dangerous tone in her voice.

Drakken rolled his eyes. Their conversations were ALWAYS filled with cutting each other off. It was one of the many reasons that he never liked to talk with his mother more than was necessary.

"Yes Mother, he," Drakken confirmed. He knew that the problem wasn't the fact that he was a _man_…

"This won't be a repeat of that business with that James person, will it?" she asked sharply. He could just _picture_ her clenching at her apron or dress or maybe squeezing the head off of one of her disgustingly cute Cuddlebuddies.

"No Mother. There is no 'mistaking' this." Drakken smirked when he thought back to a few minutes ago. The boy…Roland?...was so adorable when he was caught off-guard and nervous. Had it really only been a few minutes ago?

…wait…

Then he'd be back any minute!

"Mother! I called for advice he'llbebackanyminute?! WhatshouldIdo?!"

Matilda rolled her eyes at her son. He could get _so_ rushed when stressed. Silly boy. If this new man REALLY liked her Drewbie, then it wouldn't matter what her baby boy did.

"Just be yourself, honey." She smiled. Drakken _knew_ she was smiling. It dug at his nerves for her to just suggest that he 'be himself'. What kind of advice was that? That was something he would have expected from some stupid after-school special or the Walt Channel.

"Just _be myself_? Are you serious?"

"_DREWBIE_!" Drakken winced, this time out of fear. How could he have even dared to say that? "How _dare_ you say that?! To your OWN MOTHER!"

"I'm sorry Mother, but I'm feeling a bit stressed right now. You know I haven't had a chance like this in a long time. Please understand," he begged in his sweet-song voice.

"Weeelllllllllll…okay. But next time you had better not question what I tell you!" She liked to keep tabs on her son and wasn't about to let him start to get rebellious, even at 39. He was such a simple-minded child and he had never really grown up. A mother had to make sure to keep her baby safe no matter what.

"Nnnngh…fine Mother. I just have to be myself. Just be myself." He was more saying it to calm himself down than anything. It scared him a bit. Drakken really didn't want to mess up. "Thank you Mother."

"That's a good boy Dre—" She stopped herself when she realized that the dial tone had started up. "Hm. Must have cut off somehow."

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

"Oh man! This tanks!" Ron had been begging his brain to help him out for the last couple of minutes. So far, the only thing it had given him was an image of the eggnog that he was sure Rufus and the twins were enjoying at the moment. "Not only do you not help, but you make me hungry too!"

He began to hit his head against the door in hopes that hurting his brain would make it cooperate.

"Come!" BANG "On!" BANG "Work!" BANG "Ouch!" Bang

"_All right people, listen up_"

"Huh?" Ron looked down at the door handle. And found Mr. Barkin's head instead.

"_I'm the substitute teacher since Mrs. Kerbopple ran off with the vice-principal_"

"…"

"_You never know when I'll be watching_"

"…" Ron took a step back from the head-handle and rolled up on the floor. "It's just a hallucination…it's just a hallucination…!"

"_Stoppable! Be a man!_" Barkin snapped at the cowering Ron.

"Just…hallucinating…too much stress…Barkin doesn't really possess stuff to haunt me…"

"_The center cannot hold_"

"Huh?" Ron remembered those words. From when he was getting ready to graduate. Barkin was trying to give him advice.

Was his brain actually trying to help…?

"_Don't make me split that doll in half_"

"Split the doll…?"

Ron's head tilted to the side as an odd thought hit him.

It wasn't like admitting that he liked a guy _that way_ was betraying KP at all. It most certainly didn't mean that he was _cheating_ or anything serious like that. It was just a crush of sorts. Surely Kim still had crushes on other guys even with Ron there, right? He was just curious.

And it wasn't like he would be cheating on Kim now either. This—what he and Drakken were going to be doing—it wasn't anything like what he and KP had. This was all about…exploration. After all, you haven't really lived if you don't experience life, right? Kim would probably even be proud of him, taking this route and making sure they would both be happy together before they settled down.

It wasn't also like they were dating _exclusively_ either. That's what a promise ring was for. Promising that you would stay together with no dating on the side. They had been dating for a year and a half and had had a few fights here and there and a few agreements to disagree and they were very close, but it wasn't exclusive. He'd be okay if Kim dated on the side. As long as she was happy in the end, he'd be happy too.

"Hey! Thanks Mr. B! Couldn't have done it without you." Ron gave the head a small salute.

"_Get out of my house, Stoppable_"

He reached out and took Barkin's head in his hands, turning it to open the door.

"_Extra homework for you_"

Ron released the not-Barkin handle, taking a confident stride down the hallway back to where Drakken was waiting, probably impatiently for as long as Ron was gone.

Okay. Right. He'd figured it out. He'd date both of them. It would be best for everyone. And it wasn't like there was anything bad about dating more than one person. He would just have to talk to KP about it and hope she wasn't in a demonstrate 16 kinds of kung-fu mood.

…though that did give him one thought…

* * *

_An extra chapter as an apology for not updating for so long. I hope to get on a one chapter every two weeks schedule._


	5. No Guilt at All

**5. No Guilt at All  
**

"Just be myself. Just be myself." Drakken kept repeating his mother's advice to himself, hoping that he would calm down so he could do just that. Was it really going to be that easy? Just being himself?

He blinked hard and shook his head. "Nnngh!" Drakken stood up from the couch and began to pace in his favorite spot. It was easily recognizable from the tiny groove that had been worn into the rock floor from years of contemplative treading. "Just have to be myself. Just be myself. Just…be…" He stopped walking and started to pull at his hair in frustration, grunting angrily and grimacing, "Now how in the world is this supposed to work?! Who has ever managed to win someone's heart by just being themselves?"

"I did."

The blue scientist froze in his spot and his face dropped. Oh no. NonononoNO!

He'd been listening. The boy had been listening to him talk for who knows how long.

Worse, those words that he came in with…he surely didn't mean himself…so…

The cheerleader.

Drakken's shoulders slumped like they always did when he had just lost spectacularly. Once again, beaten by that insufferable cheerleader.

"So…you've had time to think…?" Drakken asked in a slow, stuttering voice.

Ron had been watching Drakken, waiting for the most dramatic time to tell him the news. It didn't make sense…why was Drakken reacting this way? You would think he would be happy that Ron had come to a decision…!

"Yea—"

"Enough time?"

Ron tilted his head and gave Drakken a closer look. "Yeah…" he answered slowly, watching the blue man tense up. What was with him? Did he think…?

Nah. That couldn't be it. Drakken wouldn't get all stiff and worked up over just him…would he? Drakken could probably find lots of guys that would like him. Girls too. Just have to go to a mad scientist bar or something and sit around. The classic mad mojo would catch the eye of some insane wannabe fan.

…wouldn't it?

"So?" Drakken asked, his voice an octave lower than his usual cheerful tone. He couldn't believe that he'd gotten his hopes up. How could he even—what had he been thinking? An ugly blue old man with a scarred face and a complete lack of anything that could be considered a stable life, sanity included, versus a young beautiful redheaded cheerleader that ventures the world to fight crime and probably has perfect teeth and perfect hair and perfect skin…?

Even Drakken knew the answer. It was easy once he thought about it. The problem was he hadn't been thinking.

So there it was. All he had to do was wait for the boy to confirm the choice. And he'd already told his mother. She would probably insist that he just didn't smile enough or something.

"So…Oh! Right. Sorry." Ron had been so focused on watching Drakken and figuring out why he was freaking that he had COMPLETELY forgotten about the big issue. Okay...he could do this. Ron was going to admit that he like liked Drakken.

Wow. That sounded weird. Like liking Drakken. He like liked KP too. And it's not like he could just choose, could he? Dating two people at once was _not_ against the rules. All he had to do was remember that.

"Okay…so you know I'm dating KP, right?" he decided to start. Introducing the situation would probably help with getting to the main discussion, wouldn't it?

"Y-y-y-y-YES! **BAWWWWWWWAAWWWWAHAHAHAWWWWWWW**!" Drakken suddenly collapsed into himself, falling to his knees with his back to Ron and bawling like someone had burned Mr. Snookum's poor little paws.

Ron's face fell. He really picked a bad way to start the talk. "Aww, Dr. D, that's not what I—"

**PLOOP!**

"GAH!" Ron fell backwards in surprise, his arms windmilling to try and balance him out. He landed hard on the stone ground and winced. "Ouch!" It only took a second for Ron to recover his wits and look back at Drakken in surprise.

Drakken's sudden breakdown took Ron by surprise.

The appearance of the familiar-ish flower petals around his neck was even more surprising.

"Whoa. Dude, I thought you had…uh…taken care of those things." Ron stood back up and brushed himself off, keeping one eye on Drakken's flower petals and small, flailing vines.

"W-W-W-What?" Drakken stopped shaking and crying long enough to eye his neck…which made him even more hysterical. "NOOOOO-OOOOO-OOOOOOOO-OOOOoooooo…not again…! **BBAAAAWWWAAAAAAWWWWWWHAAWWWWW**! I-I-I thought I had that under control…!" he whined in despair.

Ron felt pretty bad about making him cry. He was just building up suspense. But Drakken really didn't seem to like the idea of suspense well.

"Drakken, I…" Suddenly the blonde noticed that his feet were no longer touching the ground. "Huh?" A quick glance down told him exactly what the problem was. "Oh g—AAAAAGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Ron was cut off from finally getting to tell his decision from some apparently irate vines coming out from under Drakken's labcoat.

"DRAAAAAKKEEEEEEN!" Ron screamed. He HAD to get these vines to stop somehow!

"I-I-I'm such a faaaaiiilure-ure-urrrrre!" Drakken cried. "I c-c-c-can't do anything riiiiight! WAAAAAHAAAHAHAHAAAAA!"

"DRAKKEN! FOCUS!" It was like riding the Tilt-A-Whirl again! The vines were flailing and twisting in response to their host's emotional state. Ron was _soooo_ glad now that he hadn't gotten to eat any of the eggnog before he and KP had left her house. "I'M GETTING THE CRUMMY TUMMY!"

Drakken was so deep in his woes that he probably could barely understand what the blonde was saying. It was going to take something deep to get through to him. Fortunately, Ron had just that.

"DR DRAKKEN! I PICK YOU!"

The blue man had heard him. Though he didn't believe him. How _could_ Drew believe it? "Y-y-y-you're j-just saying that!" Drakken said mid-sobs.

"NO! NONO I'M NOT! JUST CALM DOWN AND WE CAN TALK MORE ABOUT IT!" Hopefully once Drakken was calmer his vines would calm down too and stop giving him a free carnival ride. He thought it was working; the vines were calming down to a slow twirling.

The blue man's mind just suddenly stopped. All the gears clanked to a halt as the thought suddenly lodged itself into the various workings of his brain. It was a contradiction, a paradox. It couldn't be right. It didn't make sense!

He'd won…?

He'd won! He'd beaten the cheerleader! He had managed to capture the sidekick's heart by being himself! …which…was kind of odd. The gears started clanking together in the opposite direction. How in the world could he make such an important decision so quickly…

That thought was pushed aside as his elated thought resumed parading through his brain.

He'd won! Wonwonwon the heart of someone! He was actually going to be able to date someone. An actual date! With a living person!

Drakken needed to hug someone. He couldn't keep this excitement to himself!

Relief coursed through Ron when the vines lowered him down and dropped him onto his feet before withdrawing back into Drakken's coat. He was able to let out a breath of relief and tried to calm his extremely queasy stomach and was successful for a few seconds—until he was encompassed in an extremely tight hug from his new boyfriend. He gasped as Drakken started to dance around the room with him, his breath hitching from the lack of room for his lungs to expand in.

Ron wriggled himself out of the enormous hug enough to manage to breath. Where in the world did Drakken get this kind of hugging ability? Did he work out or something? He struggled to take a breath in and squeaked, "Okay Drakken, I'm kinda choking here…!"

Drakken's eyes shot open and a horrified look crossed his face. He'd gotten so excited at the idea of actually having a boyfriend that he'd completely forgotten not to creep him out! He silently cursed himself and released Ron, wondering just how badly he must have already messed up.

The blue man took a small step back and eyed Ron, butterflies clinging to the inside of his stomach and twitching their little wings. Then again, if the sidekick was going to be his boyfriend, he'd have to get used to those hugs. His mother probably wouldn't leave the poor boy alone.

The blonde stumbled a bit after being released from one of the most backbreaking hugs he'd ever been a victim of and gave himself a moment to brush himself off. He risked a glance at Drakken while he was checking his shoes and noticed that Drakken looked even more nervous than he felt. The older man was wringing his hands and biting his lower lip, giving Ron an angst-filled stare.

Ron had never really thought of them before, but now that he was trying to collect himself his mind it couldn't help but to wander to Drakken's hands as they were wriggling and intertwining and releasing each other. They're so small and pointy. What made them like that? There's no way that sort of thing was natural. Did Drakken do that to himself? What good would having tiny hands like that do? What had Drakken been thinking?

'He had probably been thinking of where those tiny hands of his could go and what they could do' that strange voice that Ron always ignored whispered unbidden.

Ron blinked.

Then he smiled.

"Okay dude," he started, even surer now that this was the best choice to make, "I think that if this is gonna work, there needs to be a few changes."

Uh oh. "What kinds of…changes?" Drakken asked suspiciously, his eyes unconsciously narrowing while his hands paused mid-tearing at the annoyingly cheerful flower petals around his neck.

Ron flinched and took a step back at the glare from his arch-foe. Those dark eyes of his were kind of nice to look at, but when they were narrowed like that it was shiver city! Especially this close and without all the boomy action going on around them to partially distract from them.

Then he remembered that Drakken was not his arch-foe. They weren't going to be fighting over conquering the world or getting into slap fights over the controls of doomsday machines. This man, blue skin and mood swings, was going to be his boyfriend. They might end up fighting over sheets or getting into slap fights about soap operas.

"We have GOT to have some rules."

"…rules?"

"Yeah. You know, things that I need from you for us to work together…as a couple." It felt a bit odd when he said that. It was also exciting. Strange, exciting, and a little guilty. The guilt wasn't really something he was used to. He was sure it would be more natural with time. After all, nothing to feel guilty about at all. Absolutely nothing.

"Such as…?" Drakken bit the bait. He knew that it was probably a stupid thing to do, but even he could recognize that he wasn't exactly in a position to compromise. The boy was risking complete and utter humiliation, dumping the cheerleader for man old enough to be his father when they weren't even sure they would work out. "You know, Robert, you're a lot braver than I gave you credit for."

"Or just crazy." Ron gave a good natured smile and led into the rules. It wasn't every day that someone gave Ron the perfect opening into his points. "First of all, you have got to learn my name."

Drakken gave him the evil eye. "What kind of doofus do you take me for? Of COURSE I know your name!"

Ron eyed Drakken right back, an eyebrow raised in skepticism. There was no way he was actually serious, was there? "Then what is it?" he asked in a taunting voice.

"It's…" And suddenly the blue man wasn't sure. "Uhm…" What had the boy made him say when his greatest scheme had failed? Drakken gave his best shot at remembering the blonde sidekick's name. "Roland Stoop—...Rupaul Stoopnpoo—...Ros Salgo—......buffoon...?" But he eventually gave up, realizing that he really, REALLY had no clue. Then he also realized that he had managed to insult the boy at the same time.

Ron couldn't help but to giggle to himself when the other man facepalmed at the accidental insult and growled. Geez, Drakken was really silly sometimes. He decided to be a bigger man and give a bit of pity. "It's Ron. Ron Stoppable. Ronald Daniel Stoppable. Got it?"

"Ron Stoppable." Drew decided to play with it a bit to make sure that he could remember it at a later date. "Stoppable. Ron. Ronald. Ronald Stoppable. Ronald Dean Stoppable."

"No. Nice try, but no." Maybe saying the words carefully would help it stick more? "RON-ald. Dan-I-el. STOP-pa-ble. Say it with me now. RON. RON-al—" Ron stopped and stared at Drakken. "Dude, when I say with me, I mean we practice together."

"…oh." Drakken didn't exactly like that idea. In fact, it really bugged him. Made him think back to when he was in grade school and had to repeat the words on the board with everyone. That was not something he wanted to think of now. But Ron seemed to think it was a good idea. And who knew? Maybe it was. He certainly still remembered most of the words from his lessons.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

That had to be the best holiday that Shego had ever had.

She was sure of it. It wasn't really all that much of a contest. Destroying public property, threatening the safety of the world, destroying the ugliest holiday scene she'd ever seen. As far as holidays go, this one was golden. But the best part was getting to spend all that time around Cupcake.

They didn't get to spend nearly enough time together as of late. Drakken getting out of the evil business did horrors for Shego's chances at seeing Kim. The blue lug always insisted on doing things his way and only his way, even when he knew that she was right. That made them get caught more and get into fights with the teenage heroine.

Now, though, she was working both sides. A few things for GJ, a few things for WEE (because he most certainly could one-up his sister with getting a mercenary for cheaper!...except she always lied about how much Betty paid her), and mostly freelance work for various villains and morally questionable people.

Nearly all of them let Shego do exactly what she wanted when she was on her missions to 'secret-borrow' or 'obtain with extreme prejudice' the magno-electro-whatever-o's. At first, it had been a goddess-send; no longer was she continuously stopped by Kimmie and the idiot when she was doing her job. Made things a lot easier.

On the other hand, things were just so…dull. A repetitive life of waking up, showering, blasting the sink when she had a zit, yelling at Drakken to stop being lazy and do her laundry, checking her e-mail, getting a massage from a skilled masseuse (privately reserved), waiting for Drakken to finish blowing himself up in his dreary lab long enough to cook some decent grub, check her other e-mail for jobs, do said jobs, get paid, and hope that Drakken didn't blow up the lair while she was gone.

There were a few times on her more recent jobs when she had simply stopped, waiting and thinking. Just a foot away from an infrared laser alarm or right under the nose of a lightly snoozing guard. She kept having to resist the urge to just do something drastic, like walking through the beam or 'accidentally' dropping something.

If she did that, she could see Kimmie again. Things didn't seem right when Shego wasn't being chased by the redhead. It was a piece that was now missing from Shego's life that she needed back. But if she did it during a job, she could say goodbye to her reputation. She'd managed to pin most of her and Drakken getting caught on him even when they both knew Shego had alerted Kim by answering a phone to taunt or stopped in an easy retreat to fight a fight she knew she'd never let herself truly win.

This last night it all came to a boil. The so-called 'togetherness' that Drakken was selling for the holidays was a load of crap, but it made her long for Princess. It had been entirely too long since they'd seen each other. So she did something that even Drakken would point out as incredibly stupid. It still managed to draw her attention though and that's all that mattered. Shego had even managed to ditch the loser sidekick long enough to spend some quality one-on-one time with her.

But like all good things, it had to come to an end at some point. So Shego set a few clothing stores on fire on her anger-cleansing rampage through town. She knew that Kimmie could never leave her favorite stores burning to the ground like that and it bought her enough time to reluctantly slip away while the heroine fought to put the flames out before the super early premiere of the spring collections went up with the rest of the building.

It was a bit of an annoying surprise to get home to dumb and dumber having a spelling bee or something. They were just standing in the middle of the room enunciating the buffoon's name over and over.

She would have gladly roasted the blonde moron…if she wasn't sure it'd rile Kimmie up past the point of simple annoyance. He was, regrettably, her boyfriend after all.

Tasted sour to even think that.

So instead of making a complete mess of a beautiful night, she decided that waiting out the stupid show and waiting for Princess to pick up her boy toy would be better than seriously having to fight the redhead off again in her kind-of friend's home.

Shego pulled out a fingernail file, took her left glove off, and sighed. Who knew? Maybe there might actually be something interesting happen.

* * *

_And another chapter for Valentine's Day. Hope the Kigo and Rokken fans like it so far. Remember, reviews are appreciated to help tell me what I am doing right or wrong._


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